Post-Traumatic Growth

There are so many ways to treat trauma. An alphabet soup of letters -- EMDR, TFCBT, IFS, CPT -- attempting to help accomplish the same goal. Freedom. Relief. Finally getting that deep, full breath of air into the lungs and out. No matter how you approach healing, a key factor in allowing us to turn adversity into meaning is the extent to which we fully explore thoughts and feelings that surround our experiences. 

Your brain and body will tell you to do what humans are programmed to do best: to avoid the event (and subsequent pain) at all cost. It's only natural for you to want to do this. Unfortunately, this keeps us stuck in patterns that do much more harm than good. 

I can't tell you how many humans have bawled on the floor of my office telling me that they couldn't look at their trauma because they knew it was "their fault". These are people who were suffering with so much pain and taking so much responsibility for heinous acts of assault and emotional violence. No wonder they felt terrible about themselves and others. No wonder they felt unsafe, couldn't trust, couldn't develop healthy relationships. They had been believing for months, days, years, decades that they caused themselves all of this pain. 

This is real, pure tragedy. 

The absolutely privilege of doing therapy lies in bearing witness to this pain. To hear it, to watch it, to see the transformation that comes with stepping ever so slowly into it. To see the light come back into their eyes. 

The way to healing is trudging through all the pain. It is an unfortunate reality that those who experienced such horrendous damage have to then go back and revisit it, but the beauty that comes from doing so is remarkable. 

** If you are interested in doing this work, it will need to be done in a relational setting (i.e. with another human). Please seek support and guidance along your way.**