How to Find a Therapist
and Other Annoying Things We Have to Do to Take Care of Ourselves….
I remember the first time I worked up the courage to see a therapist. I was eighteen, fresh out of high-school and terrified about the future. Instead of the fun and freedom that were supposed to be readily available to me, I felt trapped and anxious all the time. My friends eventually got worried about me when my normal bubbly personality started to become flat. "You should really go talk to someone", they would tell me. I'd nod and think about it (obsessively...because ANXIETY) but I had absolutely no idea where to find a therapist.
After an entire night spent Googling "counseling near me" or "best therapist near me" I was getting really overwhelmed. I had the list narrowed down to three therapists in my community. All had incredibly high reviews and ratings (which made me feel better about taking the leap), but after contacting each of them I found they had waiting lists a mile long.
I just happened to be sitting in the "fish bowl" at my college looking through some options when my english professor walked up to. I slammed my laptop closed, but she asked curiously "whatchu got there? You look stressed". Tears welled up in my eyes and I told her about my frustrations. "Hang on, just a second" she said..."don't go anywhere!". She ran back from her office, huffing and puffing and handed me a business card -- "this is my favorite little-known secret", she said. "I've been working with ___ for six years and she changed my life. Give her a call." Long story short: I did and it changed my life, too.
It's really hard to find a therapist with openings, let alone a GOOD therapist with openings. While a quick Google search might give us some leads, we also get pummeled with paid advertisements for corporate counseling companies like BetterHelp or TalkSpace. Those who have the funds to pay boatloads to show up on Google's first search page are typically not your "little-known secret" counselors like the one I first saw (not to mention how problematic those companies are when it comes to compensation of their therapists and their blurred ethical lines).
So, here are my best tips on finding a therapist in your area:
1. Ask around. This takes vulnerability and risk, so I understand if this is not your first option. But, if you have friends or family who mention therapy, ask them who they see. You can even reach out to those therapists to see if they know colleagues with openings. Word of mouth is the best way to find a therapist because you are getting knowledge of the experience directly from their clients.
2. Search online. Okay, so I know I said Google is loaded with advertisements, BUT a quick Google search is helpful if you know how to spot an ad versus an organic fit. Get specific with your search, too! Instead of "therapist near me" or "local counseling", you might try something like "childhood trauma therapy for adults" or "finding yourself" etc. The more specific search terms, the higher the likelihood that you will find someone who actually specializes in this area.
3. Ask for a consultation. I totally get it, therapists are busy! Especially right now, my caseload feels like it stays full. But, if I know a potential client wants to get on my waitlist or is really serious about working with me specifically I am always happy to have a brief phone call or a virtual chat to assess for fit. Alternately, check to see if the therapist has a TikTok or Youtube page where you can see them communicate. You'll get a sense of their style and energy.
4. Look for these qualities. When I look for a counselor, I'm looking for a few things: do I feel comfortable with this person? Are they equipped to deal with my particular concern? There are many counselors who say they work with dozens of different diagnoses and topics, but as a therapist I know that quantity does not equal quality. I want someone who knows so much about what I've been through that they could almost write my story. It helps me feel heard and understood in a way that really matters to me.
5. Don't be afraid to work with an intern. Clinical interns are trained therapist who haven't graduated yet. They are freshly trained in the newest and most effective therapies and are just waiting to have the opportunity to work with real clients. Don't be afraid to work with an intern if the therapist you really want to see has a waitlist. Typically, you can see an intern for a very low fee and do some really good work learning the basics of therapy as you prepare to dive into the "deeper stuff" with a more experienced clinician.
Because of my own experience finding a therapist, I'm pretty passionate about making access to good therapy as easy as possible for people. To do this, I expanded my practice to work with clinical interns, I developed a waitlist option, a system to alert folks of new openings (join our newsletter if interested!) and a unique self-therapy option which allows clients to work independently on a workbook I developed while getting support from me intermittently along the way. Point is: if you want to find yourself, heal your wounds or just feel a little bit better there are options for you!
Good luck out there!
