Agency Over Urgency: Finding Balance with Intention

There’s a quiet kind of power in choosing how you spend your energy.

For ADHDrs, that’s not always easy. The world around us is built on urgency—notifications, deadlines, the endless sense that we’re already behind. Urgency feels familiar. It keeps us moving, but not always toward what matters most.

Agency, on the other hand, is slower. It’s deliberate. It’s the pause that lets us ask, What do I actually want to give my energy to right now?

But here’s the thing: too much of either one can throw us off balance.

• Agency without urgency can start to feel like apathy—when reflection becomes inertia and nothing gets done.

• Urgency without agency creates chaos and overwhelm—when motion replaces meaning and we burn out before we even notice we’re tired.

  
  

Intentionality is where the balance lives. It’s the practice of noticing both forces and choosing how to hold them. It’s saying, “I see the pull to rush,” or “I feel the pull to retreat,” and deciding to respond from somewhere grounded in between.

That balance doesn’t just apply to how we treat ourselves—it’s also how we treat each other. Sometimes we get frustrated with another person’s pace. We wish they’d move faster, or we wonder why they can’t just slow down. ADHD brains, especially, can swing between both extremes depending on the day or the demand. For many of us , criticism of our lack of urgency in some areas and our abundance of urgency in others is a huge shame button. 

But honoring agency means respecting someone’s autonomy to move at the speed they need to. It is just as important for us to extend that respect to ourselves. We all deserve the space to decide what pace feels sustainable.

That’s what this blog space has become for me—a way to use my own energy intentionally. A place where I can slow down enough to connect, to reflect, and to remember why I do this work in the first place.

At Pride this year, someone came by our Little Seed tent and shared how much these reflections have meant to them. I won’t share what they said—it felt private and personal—but I will say this: I was deeply moved. It reminded me that these words travel further than I ever expect, and that connection is never a wasted use of energy.

So, if you take just three things from this reflection:

1. Pause before reacting. Urgency loves to trick ADHD brains into panic mode. A breath gives you back your power.

2. Protect your energy. Every “yes” costs something—choose the ones that feed your sense of purpose.

3. Lead with intention. The balance between agency and urgency isn’t static. It’s a practice—a way of returning, again and again, to what matters most.

Intentionality is the bridge between chaos and stillness. It’s where our energy becomes choice—and our choices become a life that feels like ours.

Share with us:

Can you think of a time where urgency was in the driver seat? How did you feel during, afterwards? What would things have looked like if you could have taken the time to be intentional?